Liar Liar (or how I woke up one day and noticed my pants were very large)

This morning when I woke up, something felt different.

I went downstairs to start my day off with a run and noticed that my clothes felt baggy. What else is strange is that I ran the whole route instead of jogged it. After my run when I went to the kitchen for breakfast, I skipped right over to some oatmeal and fruit, a change of pace from the usual sugary cereal. I also happened to have packed a lunch the night before that looked abnormally trim. I finished my morning routine and - again - went on to notice that my clothing was balloon parachute worthy. What happened?

"Liar Liar" asks a potent question: If you woke up one day with a massive change in your life - How would you notice? How would your day be different?

Jim Carrey comically acts out the scenario as a lawyer who habitually lies. It's an older film many of us have seen that has a 3 part structure capped by a saccharine ending. Of Jim Carrey's comedy's, it's probably my favorite due to the way it showcases his comedic talent. The humor is just right, and it is hard to imagine anyone else besides Jim Carrey in the role. I am also personally fond of Tom Shadyac (Bruce Almighty, Ace Ventura), the film's director. Based on who I know him to be from his work with student's at Pepperdine, I have a lot of respect for the man which automatically endears me to his movies.

I want to draw attention to its central theme - change. While lying is the vice that is used to demonstrate change, I think the movie is less about the virtue of telling the truth and more about change in general. The movie poses a great question - if you woke up tomorrow and that habit you most wanted to change in your life were changed - how would you know? What would you notice?

Carrey never wishes away the lying, his change is the wish of his son. Yet, in thinking about change, this often true of ourselves. We are far too often not the instigators of change in our life even though we are ultimately the one's responsible for it. A friend or loved one may instead point out in us an aspect of our lives which is destructive because they feel and see the negative habit with a clearer view than we do. We are often unable to notice it. Think of a close friend in your life - have you ever confronted them on something? What was their reaction?

Change is hard because we make it hard. If not for ourselves, change would be easy in most cases. We are responsible for those behaviors we want to change. The reason is because destructive behavior serves a purpose. For example, I was once told by an overeater support group therapist that he got many doctors and nurses in his group. Why would medical professionals overeat or harm their bodies when they treat its ill effects so often? The therapist's answer was that these doctor's and nurses often have an entitlement mentality that plays out as something like: "I worked extra long hours today and served my patient's with hard work. As a result, I can treat myself to this doughnut (or whatever vice it may be)." For them, the food serves the purpose of comfort and reward for their sacrificial work.

How many of us can identify with a long, stressful day and then feel like we earned that extra large blended coffee drink? I know I can. What if it became a comfortable habit?

Change is hard, and we often do what we can to sabotage it. Sometimes we resist change so much that we are willing to be deceitful with those we love the most. Think of Carrey in the film attempting to manipulate his own son to get the change reversed. The scene is uncomfortable at some level to watch because we know Carrey is not interested in his son, but his son is deeply interested in a relationship with him. Often when a vice serves a function in our life - drugs, alcohol, overeating, lying, etc. - we are scared to do life without it. We thrive on that thing which ironically harms us and our relationships.

There is a principle in family therapy called "homeostasis" which is another way of saying "family functioning." When one person changes - the alcoholic stops drinking, the son or daughter puts up a parental boundary, etc - it typically means things get worse before they get better. It makes change all the more difficult. However, as with a dentist's visit to get a tooth pulled, it sometimes takes a degree of pain to remove something before healing sets in.

So, let's do an example. We'll suppose that you noticed recently you have been spending too much time on the internet. If you woke up tomorrow and this were changed, what would you first notice? You might notice that you don't have the compulsion to log in as much to certain e-mail accounts or websites. You might notice that you pick up the phone and call a friend to socialize. You might even head to the beach and just be still with God. You may notice that all of the sudden - you have time on your hands you didn't have before. You also might feel a little bit scared about this newfound connection through disconnection. That's okay. Better yet - that's a good thing. Change is scary, but all of us need it at times in our life to become more mature (or to the believer - more like Jesus). This is the process of refinement, or ultimately - growth. And like all things that grow, growth often coincides with health.

So now, what do you want to change?